Release the Past

Created Date: 30-Dec-2022

A Technique for Forgiving and Releasing Hurts in Our Lives

Last updated: 9-Jan-2023

A A A  help

 
Sections

1 Preface 2 The Technique

Preface

This topic is written as a general help and does not replace the potential need of counseling. 

God has given us the abilities to recover from any type of hurt, calamity, emotional wounding and tragedy if we look to God for guidance which involves these steps:

  1. Accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior if not done so.
  2. Attempting to move forward in forgiveness without ever seeking revenge.
  3. Praying for guidance.
  4. Searching the Internet for scriptural studies on forgiveness.
  5. Applying techniques like the one listed next in this topic.

The Technique

This author heard about this technique in the year of 2000 from a PhD Psychiatrist, Joanne C., with twenty years of experience in counseling.  At the time, Joanne decided to leave her practice, to pursue something else rewarding, which was to manage a woman's crisis shelter that this author was hired to set up a a computer network system with custom software that I created. 

I became friends with Joanne over the period of working there and she related the technique, shown below, to me in casual conversation when I was asking how she helped people to overcome deep emotional pains.  Little did I know that I would have to use the technique a few years later and it was a very helpful tool.

Note that this technique is also useful to help all of us for releasing memories of pain we caused others, that we can even deeply regret.  The process of forgiveness starts with confessing our sins to God the Father in Jesus Christ's name.  When possible we need to also make restitution if possible.  Afterwards, just like the Apostle Paul deeply regretted his past before becoming a Christian, we then can know that God will rectify and handle with rewards to those who we have hurt in any facet, even if it is one of the Four Greatest Sins.  Rewards in heaven are based on five areas as listed in the Rewards in Heaven topic where we may have been the cause for someone else's suffering.  This why it is important to also forgive others as we would want others to forgive us for wrongs we have done.

The technique to begin a process that will have the potential to release painful memories:

Steps:

  1. Write down on paper or type-up an electronic document a very detailed history of the problems, offenses and communications had between you and the person or people who caused harm to you or others you care about.  You can always add or change the document when more details are needed or remembered.
  2. Do not show this to anyone and put this document somewhere that no one else can find it. 

Why it works:

  1. This will allow you to begin a process to eventually release, in part or in whole, the events that have hurt you:
    (a) Our natural tendencies in life is to hold on to grievances in our primary memories and our subconscious mind, even if we have said that everything is forgiven. 
    (b) By creating the document, then we will feel satisfied that all the details are captured and if they are ever required to be known in the future then we have the document to retrieve any details. 
  2. We often will think that in order to not let painful experiences in the past to happen again, we cannot forget all of the details of past hurts. 
    (a) By writing down all of the events, our mind in most cases will stop holding on to the details because we know we have them in the document.
    (b) Our subconscious mind will in most cases also begin releasing the detailed memories.
    (c) After a period of time, both our primary and subconscious mind will in most cases release the primary details to only hopefully have a very generalized summary memory.  The generalized summary memory will be easier to emotionally deal with than all the details.

Summary Points on the Technique:

  1. The document is there if you ever need to remember the details which is how this will help you to let go.  An analogy of this is something like having all of your computer data backed up somewhere else so you aren't worried about losing data which gives you peace of mind. 
  2. After a significant amount of time has elapsed, which can be years and years, you can retrieve the document and throw it away or delete it.

What to read next?

What is Salvation?  Is it possible to lose Salvation?  We have eternal life.  Evolution is not real.  When a Christian suffers is there benefits from it.  Do we Tithe?  What does the 3rd Commandment tell us?  What is Grace and Mercy?  Is there an Age of Accountability?  Is there a place of unending punishment and exile form God?